Jason Jakubowski

firts drunkne posty

2006-07-18T05:46:47Z

hehehejehejkhe....just got backl from clubbin with guy from work....had severl rum and somethingjs and dance with a bunch of hot asian chicks...thatsy all...

...............FUCKING HELL!

2006-07-16T16:05:25Z

*ahem*.....yeah...I'm kinda back to square 1 when it comes to apartment stuff for the time being.....I managed to find some reviews for apartments in FL and the place I'm looking at rates pretty poorly. The complaints I read ranged from the staff is on a power trip alot and that there's alot of noise every night from people partying and the like, to theft, auto damages and then there's this gem of a report about a woman who about 2 months ago was raped in her apt......yeah, sounds like a great place to live....Gah....I'm glad i found this out now before i signed a lease, but fucking hell I was looking froward to getting everything settled and in place....whatever I'll just have to do some more H-work and ask around....Plus it could be the reports i read were made by people who were just pissed at the apt. I'm gonna talk to the cops soetime tommorow to see what they say, but at this point I think I'm gonna just move on and try to find something thats less likely to get me robbed or end up with 4 slashed tires some morning.....

meh

2006-07-16T02:56:59Z

I'm still alive and such. It's been slow with work so I've been working at the main building....for those who do not know, main building work= suck boring shit....I've been working in what can best be described as the all you can eat buffet at the Grand Floridian, I still get paid and I do kinda get off on the thought that I'm getting paid $9.26 an hour to do the work of a $7/hour student so yeah...It'll be a couple weeks of doing more or less nothing and then we're back to the convention center for the BIG event....over 2000 people staying there for 3 weeks straight....uber OT, which is good since it's looking like I'll be getting my apartment sometime next week, so it'll be nice to have some extra yen in my pocket for that whole thing. ..... So yeah, the other day a bunch of the chefs got together for lunch because the old man of the mountain is leaving to another location, mainly because he has arthritis in all his joints and can't work 80 hour weeks anymore. btw he's the guy who's renting me the room until i get my apt. he's also the token gay guy of the kitchen so yeah. well anyway I came out of my room and he took one look at me and was just like "no, no, thats not gonna work at all"...for some odd reason olive shorts, a light tan shirt, black shoes and white socks don't go together....well we went out and later that evening he asked me to show him my closet...now granted I've never really given 1/2 a fuck as to fashion and the like...I've always been a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy...but I was thinking of changing that up a bit as most of the clothes I own are from like....hell, my high school days, plus i am past the whole high school/ college stage in my life, time to have a slightly more sophisticated wardrobe. so today we went out shopping and looking at it, the stuff we picked up does make me look like even more of a damn sexy beast that before (if such a thing was possible ;) ). It was funny though because he'd just hold things up matching skintone and all that. so after about 2 hours loking around and roughly $300 spent I have added 12 shirts (mix of polo and button up), 2 pair of nice florida weight jeans (all the jeans i have from NY are too heavy for the heat down here), a couple pair of shoes and this bitchin black camo jacket from hot topic (http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&G=2&ITEM=892055&RN=266). All in all it is a bit of a change from my usual atire, where I'd usually stick to darker/solid colors there's alot of variety and patterns here...I'm glad for the help from him, I doubt I'd have been able to motivate myself to move up from my usual "just throw on whats comfortable to hell with high fashion" additude on my own.............Next on the agenda. As many of you know, last year at Otakon there was 1 fewer Harlocks than usual...well due to some luck with a freind having an extra spot in his room and cheap flights I will be making it to Otakon 2006!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWEET! Hell Fucking Yeah! heh...I'm stoked, though because of Otakon I wasn't able to make it to the East Coast Chogokin summit this year (thats the vintage japanese toy collectors get together for those of you who didn't know). Due to the wonder of cell phones and paypal I was still able to spend a sick amount of money on toys though O_o......*ahem* anyway...what else is there? not alot. figured i'd update for some odd reason. thats all, ttyl

so....

2006-06-05T12:04:23Z

So yeah...i forgot my password about 8 months ago...so it's been a bit since any sort of updating.....tons has happened. for starters i managed to graduate sccc culinary with honors to boot :). Oh seems i also made deans list whatever that means....anyways, life has been fairly blah for the past few months. i ended the hell at olde bryan inn the week before last....eh, no big loss there...my boss was a dick about my leaving....after 4 years of doing anything and everything for the place it was an effort yo get a handshake out of the guy on my last day...eh, like i said it's over, and i know that at least the other guys there gave 1/2 a shit and made an effort for some kind of heartfelt farewell. Oh you probably don't know, but i'm leaving mainly because i got re-hired by disney...same place i interned at so no real worries there. for the time being i'm gonna be staying with one of the chefs down there until i get my own apt...which will be a task...the housing market down there sucks balls....but thats the way it goes i suppose, hopefully i'll find something by like August or Sept....i can live out of a suitcase for a couple months without any huge problems though. so yeah...thats the main stuff thats been going on, i had a fun time when my out of state relatives came and visited for my graduation. if i think of anything else of noteworthyness i'll let you know.

random thing

2005-12-07T18:13:36Z

Asakura Akira's new single was released today in Japan and is on it's way to me as we speak.. ^_____________________^ Weeeee!!!!! just thought I'd tell everybody.

Kick ass movie

2005-11-16T03:09:39Z

Saw Good night and Good Luck today...wow, great movie, i reccomend it to anybody, seriously every journalist in the country should be hog tied and forced into watching this movie, you can't help but admire Edward R Murrow for his courage and willingness to ask the question that needed to be asked...the movie opens with a speech he made in 1958 years after his bout with senator McCarthy, but it just shows his vision and dedication to the truth, i'll post a transcript here, it's really worth a read through:

EDWARD R. MURROW

RTNDA Convention
Chicago
October 15, 1958

This just might do nobody any good. At the end of this discourse a few people may accuse this reporter of fouling his own comfortable nest, and your organization may be accused of having given hospitality to heretical and even dangerous thoughts. But the elaborate structure of networks, advertising agencies and sponsors will not be shaken or altered. It is my desire, if not my duty, to try to talk to you journeymen with some candor about what is happening to radio and television.

I have no technical advice or counsel to offer those of you who labor in this vineyard that produces words and pictures. You will forgive me for not telling you that instruments with which you work are miraculous, that your responsibility is unprecedented or that your aspirations are frequently frustrated. It is not necessary to remind you that the fact that your voice is amplified to the degree where it reaches from one end of the country to the other does not confer upon you greater wisdom or understanding than you possessed when your voice reached only from one end of the bar to the other. All of these things you know.

You should also know at the outset that, in the manner of witnesses before Congressional committees, I appear here voluntarily-by invitation-that I am an employee of the Columbia Broadcasting System, that I am neither an officer nor a director of that corporation and that these remarks are of a "do-it-yourself" nature. If what I have to say is responsible, then I alone am responsible for the saying of it. Seeking neither approbation from my employers, nor new sponsors, nor acclaim from the critics of radio and television, I cannot well be disappointed. Believing that potentially the commercial system of broadcasting as practiced in this country is the best and freest yet devised, I have decided to express my concern about what I believe to be happening to radio and television. These instruments have been good to me beyond my due. There exists in mind no reasonable grounds for personal complaint. I have no feud, either with my employers, any sponsors, or with the professional critics of radio and television. But I am seized with an abiding fear regarding what these two instruments are doing to our society, our culture and our heritage.

Our history will be what we make it. And if there are any historians about fifty or a hundred years from now, and there should be preserved the kinescopes for one week of all three networks, they will there find recorded in black and white, or color, evidence of decadence, escapism and insulation from the realities of the world in which we live. I invite your attention to the television schedules of all networks between the hours of 8 and 11 p.m., Eastern Time. Here you will find only fleeting and spasmodic reference to the fact that this nation is in mortal danger. There are, it is true, occasional informative programs presented in that intellectual ghetto on Sunday afternoons. But during the daily peak viewing periods, television in the main insulates us from the realities of the world in which we live. If this state of affairs continues, we may alter an advertising slogan to read: LOOK NOW, PAY LATER.

For surely we shall pay for using this most powerful instrument of communication to insulate the citizenry from the hard and demanding realities which must be faced if we are to survive. I mean the word survive literally. If there were to be a competition in indifference, or perhaps in insulation from reality, then Nero and his fiddle, Chamberlain and his umbrella, could not find a place on an early afternoon sustaining show. If Hollywood were to run out of Indians, the program schedules would be mangled beyond all recognition. Then some courageous soul with a small budget might be able to do a documentary telling what, in fact, we have done--and are still doing--to the Indians in this country. But that would be unpleasant. And we must at all costs shield the sensitive citizens from anything that is unpleasant.

I am entirely persuaded that the American public is more reasonable, restrained and more mature than most of our industry's program planners believe. Their fear of controversy is not warranted by the evidence. I have reason to know, as do many of you, that when the evidence on a controversial subject is fairly and calmly presented, the public recognizes it for what it is--an effort to illuminate rather than to agitate.

Several years ago, when we undertook to do a program on Egypt and Israel, well-meaning, experienced and intelligent friends shook their heads and said, "This you cannot do--you will be handed your head. It is an emotion-packed controversy, and there is no room for reason in it." We did the program. Zionists, anti-Zionists, the friends of the Middle East, Egyptian and Israeli officials said, with a faint tone of surprise, "It was a fair count. The information was there. We have no complaints."

Our experience was similar with two half-hour programs dealing with cigarette smoking and lung cancer. Both the medical profession and the tobacco industry cooperated in a rather wary fashion. But in the end of the day they were both reasonably content. The subject of radioactive fall-out and the banning of nuclear tests was, and is, highly controversial. But according to what little evidence there is, viewers were prepared to listen to both sides with reason and restraint. This is not said to claim any special or unusual competence in the presentation of controversial subjects, but rather to indicate that timidity in these areas is not warranted by the evidence.

Recently, network spokesmen have been disposed to complain that the professional critics of television have been "rather beastly." There have been hints that somehow competition for the advertising dollar has caused the critics of print to gang up on television and radio. This reporter has no desire to defend the critics. They have space in which to do that on their own behalf. But it remains a fact that the newspapers and magazines are the only instruments of mass communication which remain free from sustained and regular critical comment. If the network spokesmen are so anguished about what appears in print, let them come forth and engage in a little sustained and regular comment regarding newspapers and magazines. It is an ancient and sad fact that most people in network television, and radio, have an exaggerated regard for what appears in print. And there have been cases where executives have refused to make even private comment or on a program for which they were responsible until they heard'd the reviews in print. This is hardly an exhibition confidence.

The oldest excuse of the networks for their timidity is their youth. Their spokesmen say, "We are young; we have not developed the traditions nor acquired the experience of the older media." If they but knew it, they are building those traditions, creating those precedents everyday. Each time they yield to a voice from Washington or any political pressure, each time they eliminate something that might offend some section of the community, they are creating their own body of precedent and tradition. They are, in fact, not content to be "half safe."

Nowhere is this better illustrated than by the fact that the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission publicly prods broadcasters to engage in their legal right to editorialize. Of course, to undertake an editorial policy, overt and clearly labeled, and obviously unsponsored, requires a station or a network to be responsible. Most stations today probably do not have the manpower to assume this responsibility, but the manpower could be recruited. Editorials would not be profitable; if they had a cutting edge, they might even offend. It is much easier, much less troublesome, to use the money-making machine of television and radio merely as a conduit through which to channel anything that is not libelous, obscene or defamatory. In that way one has the illusion of power without responsibility.

So far as radio--that most satisfying and rewarding instrument--is concerned, the diagnosis of its difficulties is rather easy. And obviously I speak only of news and information. In order to progress, it need only go backward. To the time when singing commercials were not allowed on news reports, when there was no middle commercial in a 15-minute news report, when radio was rather proud, alert and fast. I recently asked a network official, "Why this great rash of five-minute news reports (including three commercials) on weekends?" He replied, "Because that seems to be the only thing we can sell."

In this kind of complex and confusing world, you can't tell very much about the why of the news in broadcasts where only three minutes is available for news. The only man who could do that was Elmer Davis, and his kind aren't about any more. If radio news is to be regarded as a commodity, only acceptable when saleable, then I don't care what you call it--I say it isn't news.

My memory also goes back to the time when the fear of a slight reduction in business did not result in an immediate cutback in bodies in the news and public affairs department, at a time when network profits had just reached an all-time high. We would all agree, I think, that whether on a station or a network, the stapling machine is a poor substitute for a newsroom typewriter.

One of the minor tragedies of television news and information is that the networks will not even defend their vital interests. When my employer, CBS, through a combination of enterprise and good luck, did an interview with Nikita Khrushchev, the President uttered a few ill-chosen, uninformed words on the subject, and the network practically apologized. This produced a rarity. Many newspapers defended the CBS right to produce the program and commended it for initiative. But the other networks remained silent.

Likewise, when John Foster Dulles, by personal decree, banned American journalists from going to Communist China, and subsequently offered contradictory explanations, for his fiat the networks entered only a mild protest. Then they apparently forgot the unpleasantness. Can it be that this national industry is content to serve the public interest only with the trickle of news that comes out of Hong Kong, to leave its viewers in ignorance of the cataclysmic changes that are occurring in a nation of six hundred million people? I have no illusions about the difficulties reporting from a dictatorship, but our British and French allies have been better served--in their public interest--with some very useful information from their reporters in Communist China.

One of the basic troubles with radio and television news is that both instruments have grown up as an incompatible combination of show business, advertising and news. Each of the three is a rather bizarre and demanding profession. And when you get all three under one roof, the dust never settles. The top management of the networks with a few notable exceptions, has been trained in advertising, research, sales or show business. But by the nature of the coporate structure, they also make the final and crucial decisions having to do with news and public affairs. Frequently they have neither the time nor the competence to do this. It is not easy for the same small group of men to decide whether to buy a new station for millions of dollars, build a new building, alter the rate card, buy a new Western, sell a soap opera, decide what defensive line to take in connection with the latest Congressional inquiry, how much money to spend on promoting a new program, what additions or deletions should be made in the existing covey or clutch of vice-presidents, and at the same time-- frequently on the same long day--to give mature, thoughtful consideration to the manifold problems that confront those who are charged with the responsibility for news and public affairs.

Sometimes there is a clash between the public interest and the corporate interest. A telephone call or a letter from the proper quarter in Washington is treated rather more seriously than a communication from an irate but not politically potent viewer. It is tempting enough to give away a little air time for frequently irresponsible and unwarranted utterances in an effort to temper the wind of criticism.

Upon occasion, economics and editorial judgment are in conflict. And there is no law which says that dollars will be defeated by duty. Not so long ago the President of the United States delivered a television address to the nation. He was discoursing on the possibility or probability of war between this nation and the Soviet Union and Communist China--a reasonably compelling subject. Two networks CBS and NBC, delayed that broadcast for an hour and fifteen minutes. If this decision was dictated by anything other than financial reasons, the networks didn't deign to explain those reasons. That hour-and-fifteen-minute delay, by the way, is about twice the time required for an ICBM to travel from the Soviet Union to major targets in the United States. It is difficult to believe that this decision was made by men who love, respect and understand news.

So far, I have been dealing largely with the deficit side of the ledger, and the items could be expanded. But I have said, and I believe, that potentially we have in this country a free enterprise system of radio and television which is superior to any other. But to achieve its promise, it must be both free and enterprising. There is no suggestion here that networks or individual stations should operate as philanthropies. But I can find nothing in the Bill of Rights or the Communications Act which says that they must increase their net profits each year, lest the Republic collapse. I do not suggest that news and information should be subsidized by foundations or private subscriptions. I am aware that the networks have expended, and are expending, very considerable sums of money on public affairs programs from which they cannot hope to receive any financial reward. I have had the privilege at CBS of presiding over a considerable number of such programs. I testify, and am able to stand here and say, that I have never had a program turned down by my superiors because of the money it would cost.

But we all know that you cannot reach the potential maximum audience in marginal time with a sustaining program. This is so because so many stations on the network--any network--will decline to carry it. Every licensee who applies for a grant to operate in the public interest, convenience and necessity makes certain promises as to what he will do in terms of program content. Many recipients of licenses have, in blunt language, welshed on those promises. The money-making machine somehow blunts their memories. The only remedy for this is closer inspection and punitive action by the F.C.C. But in the view of many this would come perilously close to supervision of program content by a federal agency.

So it seems that we cannot rely on philanthropic support or foundation subsidies; we cannot follow the "sustaining route"--the networks cannot pay all the freight--and the F.C.C. cannot or will not discipline those who abuse the facilities that belong to the public. What, then, is the answer? Do we merely stay in our comfortable nests, concluding that the obligation of these instruments has been discharged when we work at the job of informing the public for a minimum of time? Or do we believe that the preservation of the Republic is a seven-day-a-week job, demanding more awareness, better skills and more perseverance than we have yet contemplated.

I am frightened by the imbalance, the constant striving to reach the largest possible audience for everything; by the absence of a sustained study of the state of the nation. Heywood Broun once said, "No body politic is healthy until it begins to itch." I would like television to produce some itching pills rather than this endless outpouring of tranquilizers. It can be done. Maybe it won't be, but it could. Let us not shoot the wrong piano player. Do not be deluded into believing that the titular heads of the networks control what appears on their networks. They all have better taste. All are responsible to stockholders, and in my experience all are honorable men. But they must schedule what they can sell in the public market.

And this brings us to the nub of the question. In one sense it rather revolves around the phrase heard frequently along Madison Avenue: The Corporate Image. I am not precisely sure what this phrase means, but I would imagine that it reflects a desire on the part of the corporations who pay the advertising bills to have the public image, or believe that they are not merely bodies with no souls, panting in pursuit of elusive dollars. They would like us to believe that they can distinguish between the public good and the private or corporate gain. So the question is this: Are the big corporations who pay the freight for radio and television programs wise to use that time exclusively for the sale of goods and services? Is it in their own interest and that of the stockholders so to do? The sponsor of an hour's television program is not buying merely the six minutes devoted to commercial message. He is determining, within broad limits, the sum total of the impact of the entire hour. If he always, invariably, reaches for the largest possible audience, then this process of insulation, of escape from reality, will continue to be massively financed, and its apologist will continue to make winsome speeches about giving the public what it wants, or "letting the public decide."

I refuse to believe that the presidents and chairmen of the boards of these big corporations want their corporate image to consist exclusively of a solemn voice in an echo chamber, or a pretty girl opening the door of a refrigerator, or a horse that talks. They want something better, and on occasion some of them have demonstrated it. But most of the men whose legal and moral responsibility it is to spend the stockholders' money for advertising are removed from the realities of the mass media by five, six, or a dozen contraceptive layers of vice-presidents, public relations counsel and advertising agencies. Their business is to sell goods, and the competition is pretty tough.

But this nation is now in competition with malignant forces of evil who are using every instrument at their command to empty the minds of their subjects and fill those minds with slogans, determination and faith in the future. If we go on as we are, we are protecting the mind of the American public from any real contact with the menacing world that squeezes in upon us. We are engaged in a great experiment to discover whether a free public opinion can devise and direct methods of managing the affairs of the nation. We may fail. But we are handicapping ourselves needlessly.

Let us have a little competition. Not only in selling soap, cigarettes and automobiles, but in informing a troubled, apprehensive but receptive public. Why should not each of the 20 or 30 big corporations which dominate radio and television decide that they will give up one or two of their regularly scheduled programs each year, turn the time over to the networks and say in effect: "This is a tiny tithe, just a little bit of our profits. On this particular night we aren't going to try to sell cigarettes or automobiles; this is merely a gesture to indicate our belief in the importance of ideas." The networks should, and I think would, pay for the cost of producing the program. The advertiser, the sponsor, would get name credit but would have nothing to do with the content of the program. Would this blemish the corporate image? Would the stockholders object? I think not. For if the premise upon which our pluralistic society rests, which as I understand it is that if the people are given sufficient undiluted information, they will then somehow, even after long, sober second thoughts, reach the right decision--if that premise is wrong, then not only the corporate image but the corporations are done for.

There used to be an old phrase in this country, employed when someone talked too much. It was: "Go hire a hall." Under this proposal the sponsor would have hired the hall; he has bought the time; the local station operator, no matter how indifferent, is going to carry the program-he has to. Then it's up to the networks to fill the hall. I am not here talking about editorializing but about straightaway exposition as direct, unadorned and impartial as falliable human beings can make it. Just once in a while let us exalt the importance of ideas and information. Let us dream to the extent of saying that on a given Sunday night the time normally occupied by Ed Sullivan is given over to a clinical survey of the state of American education, and a week or two later the time normally used by Steve Allen is devoted to a thoroughgoing study of American policy in the Middle East. Would the corporate image of their respective sponsors be damaged? Would the stockholders rise up in their wrath and complain? Would anything happen other than that a few million people would have received a little illumination on subjects that may well determine the future of this country, and therefore the future of the corporations? This method would also provide real competition between the networks as to which could outdo the others in the palatable presentation of information. It would provide an outlet for the young men of skill, and there are some even of dedication, who would like to do something other than devise methods of insulating while selling.

There may be other and simpler methods of utilizing these instruments of radio and television in the interests of a free society. But I know of none that could be so easily accomplished inside the framework of the existing commercial system. I don't know how you would measure the success or failure of a given program. And it would be hard to prove the magnitude of the benefit accruing to the corporation which gave up one night of a variety or quiz show in order that the network might marshal its skills to do a thorough-going job on the present status of NATO, or plans for controlling nuclear tests. But I would reckon that the president, and indeed the majority of shareholders of the corporation who sponsored such a venture, would feel just a little bit better about the corporation and the country.

It may be that the present system, with no modifications and no experiments, can survive. Perhaps the money-making machine has some kind of built-in perpetual motion, but I do not think so. To a very considerable extent the media of mass communications in a given country reflect the political, economic and social climate in which they flourish. That is the reason ours differ from the British and French, or the Russian and Chinese. We are currently wealthy, fat, comfortable and complacent. We have currently a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude, amuse and insulate us, then television and those who finance it, those who look at it and those who work at it, may see a totally different picture too late.

I do not advocate that we turn television into a 27-inch wailing wall, where longhairs constantly moan about the state of our culture and our defense. But I would just like to see it reflect occasionally the hard, unyielding realities of the world in which we live. I would like to see it done inside the existing framework, and I would like to see the doing of it redound to the credit of those who finance and program it. Measure the results by Nielsen, Trendex or Silex-it doesn't matter. The main thing is to try. The responsibility can be easily placed, in spite of all the mouthings about giving the public what it wants. It rests on big business, and on big television, and it rests at the top. Responsibility is not something that can be assigned or delegated. And it promises its own reward: good business and good television.

Perhaps no one will do anything about it. I have ventured to outline it against a background of criticism that may have been too harsh only because I could think of nothing better. Someone once said--I think it was Max Eastman--that "that publisher serves his advertiser best who best serves his readers." I cannot believe that radio and television, or the corporation that finance the programs, are serving well or truly their viewers or listeners, or themselves.

I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will take its revenge, and retribution will not limp in catching up with us.

We are to a large extent an imitative society. If one or two or three corporations would undertake to devote just a small traction of their advertising appropriation along the lines that I have suggested, the procedure would grow by contagion; the economic burden would be bearable, and there might ensue a most exciting adventure--exposure to ideas and the bringing of reality into the homes of the nation.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost.

This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance, intolerance and indifference. This weapon of television could be useful.

Stonewall Jackson, who knew something about the use of weapons, is reported to have said, "When war comes, you must draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." The trouble with television is that it is rusting in the scabbard during a battle for survival.

Join the JSDF Navy!

2005-11-13T19:00:10Z

saw this CM the other day.....http://www.jda.go.jp/JMSDF/info/event/cm_p/16cm.html now if only the US would advertise like that i'd definetaly enlist!

worried

2005-10-17T03:15:16Z

I'm worried about the old man. the other chefs and professors are keeping quiet about whats really up, luckily a couple of them know how tight i am with him and they give me snippets of info as it comes. Near as I can tell I was the last student to see him leave a few weeks ago, he didn't look all that good..Like me he's a diabetic, though he's never taken the "best" care of himself...tales of his wild partying, excesses of everything save hard drugs and his stint working for Donald Trumph (legend has it he told the billionare to go fuck himself when he complained about the food), show all that, he told me a few times of his failing sight ad loss of feeling in his hands and feet, though last i heard he was getting a bit better about all that..but then he suddenly fell ill..you've read my old posts and know, but turns out he had a staph infection and his toe (the cause of all this) was infected to the point that it had to be amputated...he was discharged from the hospital to get rest at home, but he crashed a couple weeks ago, and after a failed attempt to take care of it at home by way of a nurse and IV,he was back in the hospital, and thats all thats we know for now....bah, maybe you wonder why I'd care. He's cool and all, laid back, funny, knowledgeable and serious at the same time. I had him for the first time my second semester. truth be told, at that point I was about ready to give up. not just school, cooking in general. My job was holding me back and I had no real clear cut idea if I was able to cook, no idea of my potential. I went back hoping I'd find my answers, and I found all of them while working with the old man. he was easy to joke around with, he placed more importance on labs and actual cooking than tests or lectures, he even let us cheat on tests constantly. but when it got time for it he'd get down to brass tacks and tell you when you needed to know, never be an asshole about it. He seemed to see something in me from the start it seems. I enjoyed to cook, but never really thought I had a passion for it, he showed me that I did. in Labs he'd give me interesting projects to work on, pay more attention to my work and always acknowledge my achivements and sucess. He made me realize that I could do this, that I had the passion and the skills, i just needed to learn and experince more. He saved me from giving up and wandering without a path, and he became my mentor and my inspiration. I put more into my work, my goal to someday pass him, hang out, be freinds, though in a way we already were. the following year I came back and we were together again, and he tested me even further. once giving me a side project that was considered one of the hardest things you'd have to do in cooking, cutting a terrine...it was hell, i nearly threw my knife across the room, but in the end he just smiled and said "good job, thats one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in a kitchen."...His next act towards me changed my life, he got me into Disney...out of about 30 applicants to the internship program, I was one of 4 chosen for the advanced culinary internship...he won't admit it, but i knew he said something to the disney recruiter to get me in...he never said it, though he hinted that he did a little palm greasing "I told them you were eager to learn and had a hunger for knowledge."..that coupled with a little luck was what landed me at the Grand Floridian...if not for his intervention who knows how bad those 8 months could have been? Luckily i'll never know. I owe that man alot, not my life, but close to it. I called him a few weeks ago while he was in his first stay at the hospital, and his first words to me were asking if I was taking care of my diabetes...I said yes chef, and in an obviouse drug induced haze he said good, i don't want you to end up like me...selfless ness, another quality of him. he worries more for his students than himself.. and thats why i'm worried..he's always seemed soo alive, so animated, the thought of him laying in a hospital half dead...i can't imagine it...I just hope he gets through it, and we can get a chance to hang out again. i need sleep now....i feel better having vented a bit, sorry if this bored you guys...but yeah, i needed to ramble.

Holy fucking crap

2005-09-29T01:15:33Z

Duuude, I just read this news article...it's soo fucked up and shows how badly we've been lied to about whats going on in Iraq:

LONDON (Reuters) - The conduct of U.S. troops in
Iraq, including increasing detention and accidental shootings of journalists, is preventing full coverage of the war reaching the American public, Reuters said on Wednesday.
ADVERTISEMENT

In a letter to Virginia Republican Sen. John Warner (news, bio, voting record), head of the
Senate Armed Services Committee, Reuters said U.S. forces were limiting the ability of independent journalists to operate.

The letter from Reuters Global Managing Editor David Schlesinger called on Warner to raise widespread media concerns about the conduct of U.S. troops with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who is due to testify to the committee on Thursday.

Schlesinger referred to "a long parade of disturbing incidents whereby professional journalists have been killed, wrongfully detained, and/or illegally abused by U.S. forces in Iraq."

He urged Warner to demand that Rumsfeld resolve these issues "in a way that best balances the legitimate security interests of the U.S. forces in Iraq and the equally legitimate rights of journalists in conflict zones under international law."

At least 66 journalists and media workers, most of them Iraqis, have been killed in the Iraq conflict since March 2003.

U.S. forces acknowledge killing three Reuters journalists, most recently soundman Waleed Khaled who was shot by American soldiers on August 28 while on assignment in Baghdad. But the military say the soldiers were justified in opening fire.

Reuters believes a fourth journalist working for the agency, who died in Ramadi last year, was killed by a U.S. sniper.

"The worsening situation for professional journalists in Iraq directly limits journalists' abilities to do their jobs and, more importantly, creates a serious chilling effect on the media overall," Schlesinger wrote.

"By limiting the ability of the media to fully and independently cover the events in Iraq, the U.S. forces are unduly preventing U.S. citizens from receiving information...and undermining the very freedoms the U.S. says it is seeking to foster every day that it commits U.S. lives and U.S. dollars," the letter said.

"SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL"

Schlesinger said the U.S. military had refused to conduct independent and transparent investigations into the deaths of the Reuters journalists, relying instead on inquiries by officers from the units responsible, who had exonerated their soldiers.

The U.S. military had failed even to implement recommendations by its own inquiry into one of the deaths, that of award-winning Palestinian cameraman Mazen Dana who was shot dead while filming outside
Abu Ghraib prison in August 2003.

Schlesinger said Reuters and other reputable international news organizations were concerned by the "sizeable and rapidly increasing number of journalists detained by U.S. forces."

He said most of these detentions had been prompted by legitimate journalistic activity such as possessing photographs and video of insurgents, which U.S. soldiers assumed showed sympathy with the insurgency.

In most cases the journalists were held for long periods at Abu Ghraib or Camp Bucca prisons before being released without charge.

At least four journalists working for international media are currently being held without charge or legal representation in Iraq. They include two cameramen working for Reuters and a freelance reporter who sometimes works for the agency.

A cameraman working for the U.S. network CBS has been detained since April despite an Iraqi court saying his case does not justify prosecution. Iraq's justice minister has criticized the system of military detentions without charge.

Schlesinger's letter said: "It appears as though the U.S. forces in Iraq either completely misunderstand the role of professional journalists or do not know how to deal with journalists in a conflict zone, or both."

Reuters and other media organizations in Iraq had repeatedly tried to hold a dialogue with the
Pentagon to establish appropriate guidelines on how to safeguard journalists. These efforts had failed "and the situation is now spiraling out of control," Schlesinger said.

He asked Warner to question Rumsfeld specifically about the rules of engagement toward professional journalists, the failure to hold independent investigations into shooting incidents and to ask what was the guidance to U.S. forces on how to distinguish legitimate journalists from insurgents.

Holy shit, am i the only one that thinks it's inexcusable that fucking JOURNALISTS are being GUNNED DOWN by fucking AMERICAN TROOPS???? WTF????

and such

2005-09-21T14:04:37Z

soooo.....ummm i dunno...fillign random space lah lah lah....no deep thoughts today i'm afraid...though my nutrition teacher is starting to annoy me slightly.....she's like WAYYYYYY into "healthy eating" to the point where she spend large portions of the class time rambling and bitching about how everybody eats badly and how they're gonna die at like 40- because of thier diets....yeah it's somewhat irritating...just teach the fucking class bitch and let us make out own choices, don't be all like "You people eat too much of the bad things the american diet is fucked ect ect"....but yeah....i might show up to class with a basket of fries and see how she reacts....but seriously...what the fuck??? i can tell you now if she keeps it up she's gonna get the weastern union treatment HARDCORE (see previous posts)...what else...oh yeah my like favorite teacher and probably one of the better chefs...oh fuck it the best chef here is in the hospital because he's diabetic and he ended up getting like blood poisoning or something from an infection in his foot that never heald right (when diabetics get old they have circulation/healing issues...woo hoo i can't wait).....but yeah....i'm gonna try and get everybody to like sign a card or something for him, cause he's awesome and it sucks that he's not here and that he's sick...gah..everything else is going fairly smoothly....we took the cylinder head off the car i'm restoring to a machine shop to get it checked out and they quouted like $600 for all the work/labor/parts it's gonna need....ummm yeah i don't think thats gonna happen...my folks were gonna cover like $250 of it for my birthday...thats still waaaayyy more than i can spend on THAT for the moment.....so we went on ebay found a totally new machined head for like $250 and got that instead...so now we only owe the machine shop $100 for what they've already done....so all i'll have to pay is that plus the shipping for this thing.....so thats all figured out....umm what else....gah i've been called away to lend a knife of mine to someone....i'll try and post more later but no promises, cya.

and stuff

2005-09-19T03:33:27Z

hmmmm, i'm soo sickly bored right now, but it's like i'm unmotivated at the same time....nor am i sleepy....might as well ramble slightly. ummmm gah...lah lah lah..fuck...what can i talk about here....something right? i mean jesus my mind is always filled with tons of thoughts, some of them are bound to fly out and slap themselves down here, though i doubt it makes much difference as i think like what....5 people read this? probably less..my fish don't love me i figured it out....i mean sure they swim up to the tank and look at me in a happy way when i walk into the room...but then they just swim away....until i have food...then they can't leave me alone....they all come up to the top of the tank and flap their fins for me....*sigh*....whatever it works, they're just fish.....anyway...school is doing fine, my teachers are nice, and work is also good, though i have had random moments where i wanted to just walk out and burn the place to the ground, but the money is good, and they're more than willing to work around my freaky schedual.....today my dad and i went to the harbor freight tool store in Albany and got some stuff I needed for the car i'm restoring, engine stand, jacks jack stands ect...plus a few other things we didn't exactly need...but were on sale...also i took the mini fridge from my brothers room and set it up in here...so now i will have cold pop, thats always good....while i was cleaning my room out a few days ago i came across my creative writing note books, and read through some of my old poetry....it was interesting.....i dunno..someday i'll transcribe it here...it's odd sometimes to get a look into the "me" of back then....ugh enough of that. i need to get out i think...maybe take a couple weeks off and hop an amtrak across country, or just go around to some of the little out of the way middle of nowhere towns in new england...something anything....just like break away, where i can just think and say and do whatever....bah, i'm starting to sound like some of mark twain's drunken ramblings...i need to find myself... i always get this way during the fall...it's just that time of year....the colors changing, the days getting shorter....the air is cool and crisp....there's that smell that feeling....i can't really describe it...just that sence of "it's fall"...being in new england it's all the more stronger...have you ever just gone out to an empty forest and wandered? looked up at the sun, low in the sky, the air slightly cool, the small of leave all around you, that feeling? i love the fall, and i always get nostalgic during it....soo much has happened in my life at this time of year...the start of school in years past, i met zeb, and first started going out with kait, it was when jacs started, when i got into anime and everything else, it's when i was diagnosed as being diabetic..it's almost been 10 years now...so yeah....fall is the most special time for me....it moves me like nothing else, as soon as everything starts to change my heart is moved...i start to long for the past and the future, and wish that things stood still.... this season is when my life always changes...sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but it always changes....i wonder what is in store for me this time? what will i find? where will i go? and what will i discover about myself? about the world? about others? it's still blurry, but i think i might see it...off in the distance coming at me....god damn i feel old.....i'm about done here for now, i hope you enjoyed this...

Jietsu wa

2005-09-18T03:45:50Z

Boku wa, ok ja nai.......idjou dash. oyasumi nasai chikyu okasan.

hiiiiiii wooorld

2005-09-14T14:24:05Z

soo right now i'm sitting at schectady waiting for my next class...which doesn't start for hmmmm lets see...oh like 6 hours -_-....it was the only thing i could do to have a somewhat sane schedual (like not having 3 cooking labs back to back in 1 day) and also keep all my clases on 3 days so i could like work and not be poor and such, so yeah i have tons of free time at this moment and no real homework to do....maybe like a 5 min work experience sheet but thats about it...gah...so whats up? well I'm back from Florida, as i stated in my previouse entry. after we got back from the wedding things were kinda freaky...well not freaky, but eh you know. i spent most of that week hanging out at my one freinds house helping him work on his car (and also for him to help me with some stuff on my car without much success..), and usually I'd go there at like 4 in the afternoon and not return home until like 2-3 am the next day, but it was fun and gave me achance to unwind knda. lets see....basically once i got back from florida i kinda looked around my bedroom (the main concentration of everything i own in this world) and was like "what the fuck is all this shit?" and proceeded to fill roughly 6 many many gallon hefty bags with random trinkets, old school papers, empty bottles, old shoes clothes ect ect...in doing so i managed to free up nearly ever shelf, bit of closet space, and drawer in my room for packaging to toys, books, dvd's ect which had been in random piles in my bedroom, this made me happy and filled my aching lonely heart with a full warm sence of accomplishment that I've been lacking..actually, on that..to tell you the truth, everybody keeps asking me about disney, what i did, how the expernce was ect ect...and i really can't solidly answer that..I spent my off time sitting in my apt, on the computer, babbling with a certain special person, reading...i went to the parks very very little...i could probably count the combined times i was in a park on 1 hand...well maybe 1 and a half hands but you get the idea. but thats what i'm used to, i've never been one for much social interaction so it's all good...and such...though i do kinda regret not hitting the clubs down there and parties....here was a chance for me to maybe develope my badly retarded social skills, but i let it go by....cest le vie.... also my work...people ask me what i did...and not counting a few special circimstances, my work was mostly made up of random bitch work...cook this pasta, count and marinate this chicken, grill 10,000 spears of asparagus and tie them with a chive in bundles of 5, chop this, measure this....which really made up the bulk of the work in my location, i mean it's a banquet and convention center...granted the hours were really good cause there was always tons to do and it was very very busy, but i can't help but feel that, while certain skills of mine have improved, alot of what i knew and could do before i went down there was not really lost, but badly fucked up......all in all, i really don't have much to complain about, as comprared to most of the other students from my school my program i was in the main like "up there" location, so it could have been alot worse....gah, i feel better now that i got that out.....i won't lie though, it wasn't always bitch work....when we would be slow the chef's would experiment with me, test my knowledge and skills and abilities, one of these tests resulted in a random recipie i made up being put into thier recipie book there, though i doubt they'll use it often, it's still in there..like i've said since i got back, i think the main thing i learned was what i still need to learn and work on, my additude has improved, and i do feel more mature than when I was at the OBI, which shows, as people say i seem more quiet and serious and mature...woohoo.....gah ok onto other things, fuck where was I? damn that was a long assed tangent..since i've been back home things have basically become routine again, my folks have had thier babying moments with me, but luckily they don't seem as bad as before with all that. I've been trying to get my mother into Dr.Hunter S Thompson's works, i had her try and dig up articles and coverage for the cannon blast on the 20th as I wasn't gonna be around to watch it and didn't want to miss it, and in the process she learned "more about gonzo journalism than i ever really needed to know."....awesome....oh btw, i know i say this all the time, but really, if you can pick up one of HST's books and give it a try...esp his one on the '72 campaign trail....ok, onwards. in my personal life things are fine, Kelly hasn't bothered me much, I was worried that when i got back she'd try and force herself back on me, i was even warned of it by freinds here, but she has moved on, as i have so it's all good. umm oh yeah I'm still like single and haven't gotten laid in 4 1/2 years, but thats old news...though..i dunno....the single life is kinda getting boring, though as it stands between school and work, in reality, i have NO time at all for a relationship...besides my wierd online kinda relationshipy thingy with snuggle bunny...i do have many fish though, which i love very much..and they love me too so it's enough for now...they're soo free and calm and peacefull, just swimming around living life without any complications....over the summer 2 of them died while i was away, which was kinda sad, though the 1 was nearing the end of it's lifespan even before i left, infact it's a surprise he lasted as long as he did, but it was a shock when i came home and found the other one wedged under a peice of coral in my tank dead and 1/2 decomposed :(....i got 4 more fish the other day though and they've gotten fsirly well adjusted which is nice....so it works out kinda. what else? oh yeah yesterday in the morning (I had a night class) i went and re-arranged some of the furnature in my room...moved my bed against a wall, relocated a couple dvd racks and one of my display cases... i'll take pics and put them up sometime. it was kinda wierd the way i had things before...like my bed was about 3 feet away from this one wall and i had a display case against said wall near the foot of the bed, so there was this 3x6 foot dead space in my room, so i just got the case out of the way and shoved my bed over, and now there's tons of room by my computer desk and such. i can't really think of much else at the moment, though i have plenty of spare time to like sit here and do nothing so i probably will make another update sometime today if the mood hits me right....well there world, a nice huge update for you to munch upon.....enjoy!

alive

2005-08-26T17:13:26Z

Hi all....I am alive, and back in saratoga...kinda..actually right now I am in michigan for my sisters wedding. I WAS In saratoga for sun-weds morning but yeah.....monday was a good day for reason's that a couple people know, I saw charles again, as well as finally seeing sarah and such...that was nice..heh...tues morning was also fun, as I was still forcing myself upon charles and his home. after that I spent the rest of tues going nuts packing for the wedding and being lazy and such...and now i am in michigan after driving through canada....though why that matters I have no idea....gah my brain is totally fried at this moment. nobody i know is online and i don't feel like doing much anything so i might try and take a nap while we wait to drive out the the Inn the family is staying at for the wedding. cya.

hmmmm

2005-07-23T02:19:13Z

i start alot of my entires with hmmm don't i?? anyway...heh i say that to alot, um in other news...so yeah i'm alive, still, somehow, despite not sleeping, not eating right, and having no fucking clue what my blood sugar is usually...lol j/k i'm taking good care of my health world..lately things have been...wierd, and such...i've gotten myself wrapped up in alot of emotional stuff with someone...it feels very right... but like....eh you know how i am....don't want to mess things up and go too fast and don't want things to die from going too slow...but it seems to be working out fine...i just can't wait until i'm back in saratoga and things with me and this person can be...i dunno resolved doesn't sound like the right thing to say but...i dunno we're both confused right now and a real face to face might, ney, will help things just fall into place and be not confusing....gah enough of that jabbering, cause the only people who read this and have any clue as to what it entails...already know about everything....i dunno lately i've been down a bit because the reality of my going back home and leaving everything down here is becoming more and more aparent...and like, i know that being back in saratoga will make pursuing something that has become very very important and meaningfull to me ALOT easior....i'm gonna miss my job here, my freedom, the freinds i've made, the amazing chefs i've gotten to know..i dunno...i do intend to return once i finish school, but it's hard...i've been down here for close to a year and have gotten used to alot...and alot of stuff has happened in my life here, enough that it's hard for me to just pack up and go...and today i got a more hardcore reminder when i was cleaning and started to pile up and box the extra stuff i don't use to mail home and save room in the car before i leave in like....fuck 4 weeks now... so now i have a large box filled with some random shirts, a couple toy bits and peices and such ready to be sent back to NY...and like i dunno...it sorta seems sad.... eh it'll wear off...there's alot up north (and i just don't mean NY either, more up north than that too) that i miss and long for, that'll make the transistion easier...but i will miss everything down here...soo yeah,,but i'm gonna be back at some point...once i graduate and get all my shit together...*sigh* where was i? i keep getting distracted and loosing my place and going on odd tsngents...oh yeah i played paintball with my chefs the other day and shot my boss in the head alot...that was cool...they don't really hurt after you get shot enough...it was a blast though, but i kinda messed up my knees from all the running and crouching...they didn't stop hurting for like 4 days after that...i just put on a pair of these sunglasses i got a while back, they're the polorized ones so when i look at my monitor at the right angle it looks all wierd and cool.....i've been in florida for 7 months no and don't have a tan....holy shit i'm gonna lay by the pool tommorow and get a tan god damn it! naw i'll just sit inside and talk with sar....err this certain special person online for a good while and then go to the post office to mail this box and then go to work and get new uniforms.....btw kelly if your reading this, would you please be a dear and identify yourself when you make random comments on months old journal entries? it kinda creeps me out when someone who types and spells worse than me makes comments and doesn't say who they are...anyway back to the thing at hand...hunter thompson is awsome, i say is and not was because he still lives in his books and articles, he will forever be a symbol to truth and explosives and counterculture as a whole....he will be missed, but hot damn it'll be sweet when they fire him out of the cannon on aug 20... what else?? umm...Gonzo forever....lol i'm dead in my head...sarah showed me this evil evil fucked up online cartoon that warped me forever......now i'm gonna go out and search for rusty spoons and salad...i'll ttyl world....if i forgot anything i'll post it latter...or now. that is all

update-ness

2005-06-22T03:56:51Z

see spot, see spot run, run spot run....lol ok things have been going fairly well lately, work has been fine, mostly (there will always be little bumps in the road but whatever), my personal life has taken a very good upward spin as of late, but i've been sworn to secrecy as to why. tee-hee....oh this weekend i went to the east coast chogokin summit 2005...a bunch of middle aged japanese toy collectors and myself get together to talk, trade, share knowledge and eat food...this year one guy had just moved to a new apartment and as such found a bunch of extra pieces he didn't need anymore, i managed to prosper from this greatly....after we did the toy thing we hit the nearest thearter and watched Howls Moving Castle...eh the dubbing was ok, and the story was absolutely awsome! another great Ghibli movie, can't wait till it comes out on dvd.... if you want to see pictures of the get together or watch a 9 min video go here: http://collectiondx.com/feature.asp?ID=128

what else? I dunno, life has been pretty much the same lately, work, eat sleep, talk online...umm yeah, sorry it wasn't a better post, eventually i hope to sit down and write something better but a certain someone forced me to do this one....thats all, cya!

bwuhahahahahaha

2005-05-30T18:23:46Z

I just found the best thing ever: http://steakandcheese.com/downloads/der_fuehrers_face.wmv think Donald duck doing the nazi salute about 100 times and saying heil hitler alot.....yeah, gotta love WWII Disney propoganda cartoons.

Bored as hell

2005-05-29T03:05:47Z

Ok It's like 11pm, I'm about to go to bed and I'm still bored, so here comes my random entry thingy of the week and stuff....

[IMG] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/brightcam12.jpg [/IMG]

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE SEXINESS!!!!!

lol ok, that was fun, though i'm gonna get my ass kicked for it latter, cya.

heh

2005-05-25T04:05:49Z

btw i'm like single again and stuff.....soo yeah, my new ex gf had some issues she needed, wait, NEEDS to deal with....immaturity, selfishness, lack of confidence, dependence on relationships, lying, betraying her freinds ect....she seemed like a nice girl, but as time went on it was apparent that there was no way this would work out....she was stuck in this fairytale land where the prince in shinning armor would come along, and they'd live happily ever after and get merried just because....i went along with it for a little bit, but reality set in, and I realised something that I mentioned in passing as a nice idea, was something she was betting her entire life on, and she kept pushing....she seriously had to be told why it wasn't a good idea to get merried after only knowing eachother for less than a year...when we are soo different.....and then came the phone calls "did you break up with me, why didn't you call me 4 times today, do you still love me, do you hate me?" over and over again......it was like I was expected to love her, not just love her.....thats not a relationship...but i had hopes that she'd grow up...i tried to get her to be more independant, get a job, drive herself around, NOT expect a fucking phone call from me every single god damn day of the week....but it didn't happen, and i broke things off.....there was more to it though, I heard she was being unfaithfull, hitting on other guys, going out on dates, lying to me constantly about important things.....she kept trapping me, and foricing me to stay with her, saying how she'd die if we broke up, that she needed me, ordered me to promise to never leave her, and when I wouldn't answer she'd press, like a child who wants an extra cookie...but now it seems shes already in a relationship, making out with somebody when she KNEW for a fact that in doing that she'd hurt one of her best freinds in a very deep and painfull way.....Yes world, it seems that Kelly Donough is little more than a small, insecure, selfish spoiled little bitch...and she'll probably go on through life like this, dependant on others to give her life purpose and meaning, dependant on a relationship to feel good, and always demanding more than she's willing to give....thats about it.....hopefully she won't see this until i get a chance to tell it to her face, and take back the ring i gave her....no receipt, but i could probably get a bit for it from the local pawn shop.......

bwuhahahahahaha

2005-05-23T11:04:31Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Cool, as well as Yayness!

2005-03-16T03:01:45Z

Hey world, Kelly got a job and stuff!!! Isn't that cool??? I think it is, Congrats Love, I hope everything goes well for you, and I think that the rest of everybody who sometimes comments here also shares my wishes for you. *kiss* Love ya hun!

grrrrrrr

2005-03-13T05:23:21Z

AOL Messneger has been retarded lately, has anybody noticed? I know that being on DSL that things can be different, but it seems that on messenger things are always locking up, reseting ect ect...usually i'm talking when all of a sudden i'm kicked out and it takes like 1/2 an hour (or more!!) to get back on...also it's been doing this thing where I'm online and all that but my freinds list isn't updated...like it shows people being online who aren't and/or people show up as being offline when they're really on....what's worse is that it keeps happening when I'm talking to kelly :( :( :(....yes we're still together and will sta that way forever and ever she's my soul mate the one I've always looked for.....where was I? oh yeah, ^^() usually it locks up when i'm in the middle of a convo with kelly or whoever and i don't realise that my comments aren't getting through....I dunno, it just annoying...the seperation can be a little difficult sometimes and these chats we have at night after work and the phone calls during my breaks realy make things soo much better, perfect even (well almost perfect, perfect would be me coming home to a pair of bright eyes and a warm smile and a hug and a kiss every day and a cute little warm sexy thing to hold close to me everynight when I sleep) ;) ;) ;).......ok, well hopefully kelly will come online again soon so I can say goodnight, but she's probably gone to sleep at this point....thats about it....actually i'm gonna try and figure out what's up with aim. ttly world.

still alive

2005-02-22T03:47:51Z

hi all i'm still alive....today i had a day off so me and my room mates decided to finally clean up the place....didn't take any before shots but did take a few after pictures, so here are a few of them, enjoy!

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0493.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0494.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0495.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0496.jpg [/IMG]

Oh and here are a few shots of my personal bedroom area:

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0497.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0501.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0499.jpg [/IMG]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/Jerilock/HPIM0500.jpg [/IMG]

Isn't it cool? I know everybody has been asking about my apt. so i thought it was time i chared it with the world.

yay

2005-02-14T17:31:43Z

ok, here is post #2 and stuff about this weekend. saturday I got up kinda early and went to Kelly's house early sat. we headed up to saratoga and hit Wilton Mall for lunch, she got arbies i got japanese. we finished eating and went into the arcade, after waiting for a while the fast and the furiouse game opened up...and...and...and "GASP" I was deafted at a driving simulator by Kelly....yeah I know horrible isn't it?? she was all proud and such, but luckily dropped it pretty quickly.....We went wandering for while after that, I hit the ricer store (truck and auto wares for those not in the "know") to try and get a universal mount for that bucket seat i got for the probe....after getting useless infromation (just bolt on some blocks of steele and weld them in place) ummm no retard the seat sliders are about 1 1/2 inches different from the bolt patters in the car *sigh* well either way I'm gonna be getting a civic when I'm down with Disney so i can put the seat in that. anyway, Kelly dragged me into this chocolate shop and started oogling the cuddly bears, one in particular attracted her attention (she started talking to it, a definite sign that she'd love it forever). using the stealth techniques I learned in Nam I snuck behind her while she was distratced and baught it. she got like a chocolate cover strawberry er something and we left the store. I handed her the bag with the bear in it and was like "can you hold this for a min" she took it and carried it for a while before she tried to hand it back to me, I said "don't you want to keep it" she looked in the bag and was like "when did you do that?" all the while she had that cute confused lost look in her eyes she gets when she's surpriesd, it was soooo cute ^^(). we went back to my house and hung out for a while before i had to take her home for church. while she was doing that i went to my brothers house and visited for a bit with him before going to get kelly. we went to my house for dinner and generally had a good time, swapping stories. My family likes her alot from what I've seen. we spent the rest of the night talking and cuddling, enjoying eachother's presence. we rented anger management and watched that in my room, though i think we were paying more attention to eachother than the movie, but would you expoect less after being seperated for soo long?? the night continued like that for a while but finally i had to take kelly home. we said out goodbyes and i went back. i woke up sunday the same as I had for the past few days. originally we were gonna get together with my brother for lunch er something, but cause we'd seen eachother the night before, (and because i had a " little lost puppy" look my mom told me to go and visit kelly. i went to her place and we played pool and cuddled some more. I talked with her parents for a bit and mett her sister/nephews. finally I had to say my final goodbye un til my next visit. it was sad, but we both know that we can still communicate and that I'll be able to visit her in a month or so....it was a great weekend....granted i did get kinda sick but that was a small price to pay for a few days with my one and only. I'll love you forever kelly.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-14T02:55:48Z

this weekend= UBER UBER UBER UBER GOOD.......... it was the best time I've had in soooooooooo long...disney is good and all, but like, kelly isn't at disney.....ok so NY is cold, and i have to live with the folks when I'm there, but I'll gladly, GLADLY accept all that if it means i can hold the one love of my life in my arms for a moment, drink in her sweet lips, stare deep into her eyes...and stuff...aren't I poetic? sorry if this makes little sence as I got kinda sick in NY (probably that whole going from 70 degree weather to like 15 degree weather in 3 hours had someting to do with it). so like yeah meet folks at airport, got van, drove to sccc. went in got attacked by the group (hey cindy can i have that arm you snapped off back please?) tee-hee. went to the cooking lab abd babbled at Bernard, called him an old man ect ect, It was cool, he's like sooo my inspiration to go into cooking as hard core as I have. then i went to the comp lab with cindy and meg and casey in tow and like attacked kelly...pretty much as everybody expected me too....it was nice to feel complete for a change unlike the time I've been here in disney <3 <3 <3..... so we waited for her replacment to come, and i kept grabbing ahold of her and such. the releife person for the comp lab came and we went downstairs. I got a little updated on the going on's of the group and such. cuddled kelly while meg like was grossed out (lol i know your happy for us meg in your own little odd-ass way) then we went out to the car and cuddled for a bit....I told her to close her eyes and whipped out the promise ring....after figuring out which finger to put it on i told her to open her eyes...she took one look and was like "wow, i love you sooooooooooooo much" i said something to the effect of "with this ring i seal the promise to one day make you my wife". we held each other for a bit and..................................*censored*...............................................
once i got my tounge back we drove to her house and played pool, i won only because of luck, but apparently cheated according to her.....either way. after that we got together with my folks and went to olde bryan inn for dinner...wow it was odd being there, the kitchen seems sooooo fucking tiny after working in the convention kitchen at the grand floridian. I got all the old checks they've been holding (w00t an extra $300 for free score!!!!!!!!!!!!!) the chefs came out and said hi and we all got dinner....and the food was like well presented and high class.....WTF??? good presentation at the OBI? whatever happened to pile-o-food pork loin with apple chutney and mashers?? well turns out the head chef there, Johhny, blew his knee out at the x-mas party (i kinda remember that but never knew it was soo bad) and has been out ever since.....so 2 of the more vetern guys took over....and from the looks of things fixed alot of his fuck-ed up policies....I mean John is a good guy and all...but he's a lousy cook and a really bad manager.....I was glad that place got a makeover in the management/organization of the kitchen, and importvements to the menu.....You can't imagine how badly that place needed a fresh set of eyes to help bring it up a few steps..... anyway we got done with dinner and went out to see Hitch, a really funny movie, Will Smith was Awsome....umm i do't remember a whole lot from it,well one thing i do remember is kelly constantly looking at the ring and moving it around to make it like sparkle in the light and she always had this sweet gentle loving smile on her face....that was nice to see :) :) :). I took my love home for the night and went back home into my own bed and dreamed of her, the image of her pretty eyes and lovely face that much stronger since we were soo close to eachother again......ok i'm getting a headache and stuff, need sleep....I'll post about the rest of the weekend tommorow. 'night all pleace and stuff.